In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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