I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
