I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
