i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
