You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
