When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
