dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize