Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Panties = found
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
