Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
