Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
