I'm so fucking centered right now
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
