bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
