I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
