yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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