Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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