All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is Oprah even human
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
