my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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