Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
