Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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