I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
