Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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