we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
