So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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