she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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