problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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