I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Say something about gay babies.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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