well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
