Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
