Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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