just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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