I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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