he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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