Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
