So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
