i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
