Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize