We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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