My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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