i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All the doctor said was why
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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