quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
