I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
