I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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