is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
