I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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