i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
