I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
