careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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