If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
