ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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