Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
