Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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