So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
