he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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