Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
