maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
