Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Randomize
