I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
