I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
