so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
