so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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