i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
