i think i have two assholes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
