i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
